A few things to state before we dive into this beast.
- I am a
25 year old white/Hispanic man with no skill in art. I have, however,
been reading webcomics for 12 years now, so, you know, TOTAL EXPERT
HERE.
- I am a sarcastic, foul-mouthed shit, but I will try to be fair when and where I can.
- Mother. Fucking. Commas.
- I
read the comics and checked out their art sites, meaning whatever was
linked on their comic site or set as their Twitter homepage, but did not
go out of my way to Google or further research them.
- I read the
entirety of the comic archives and saw every image in the art blogs of
everyone, unless otherwise noted, and watched the two current Strip
Search videos and the Meet the Artist videos for each person.
- All
pictures used for each artist belong to them. I claim no credit, nor
used any pictures from anywhere but their comics/blog, excepting the
mugshots for each artist which I stole shamelessly from the Strip Search
site, and a picture of Alex from Strip Search episode 2. If there is no
name or copyright included by a picture, it is still theirs. Attribute
yo shit, dawg.
- I did NOT regularly read the news posts
accompanying each comic due to the sheer amount of time that would take,
and how boring most people’s posts are (talking all webcomics here, not
just these 12). News posts do not affect the art or the storyline and I
doubt they would play a part in Strip Search, so there was no need. I
do, however, admit that the sole exception was a certain science comic,
because I got a science boner from it.
- Every artist has their
name and current comics listed (old, completed comics won’t reflect
their current art style), including any additional art sites, as well as
a short relative summary of their art style, joke style, and comic
style. After that, I go in depth about what I find good and bad about
their comic, then give my guess as to when they get knocked off the
show. I could easily write twice as much for most of these people, but
the size is already ridiculous.
- Every picture has a caption, if you were wondering what those italics were.
- Some of these guys already had nicknames, like “Lexxy,” so I gave EVERYONE nicknames!
- This post contains no pictures of my junk. OR DOES IT?
- I worked on this for three days straight. It is
61 pages in Microsoft Word, contains 69 (hehe) pictures, is 14.1MB large, and is
7,133 words long. I cannot promise that my sanity remained intact during the
process.
- Just fuckin’ with ya. My sanity was NEVER intact.
Let’s get this shit rolling. Here is everyone in alphabetical order by first name!
 |
Abby “Fabio-face” Howard |
Comic: Junior Scientist Power Hour (jspowerhour.com)
Art Site: http://jspowerblogger.tumblr.com/
Art Style: Courage the Cowardly Dog meets Kate Beaton with a small helping of Hyperbole and a Half
Comic
Format: Fairly freeform, however many panels are needed to fit the
story/joke, and frequently breaks out of panels for transitions or
whatevs.
Joke Style: Awkward Zombie meets, again, Kate Beaton
Summary/Opinion:
The archive of her comic is 53 comics at this point. I know the kind of
humor she is going for, that quirky character kind, but it doesn’t work
terribly well. I think I got one laugh* out of all of her comics, and
since it is trying to be funny, that’s not a good sign.
* I blew more air through my nose than usual
Her
main character, herself, reminds me much of Katie Tiedrich’s version of
herself on Awkward Zombie. That is to say, if you didn’t know the
artist was a woman, you probably wouldn’t get that impression from the
character. I’m sure, as a man, I’m just projecting onto the character,
but seriously, LOOK AT THAT CHIN.
 |
Holy shit, you could grind a baby seal on that thing. I feel like I am reading The Trials and Tribulations of Fabio (I call dibs on that trademark, motherfuckers).
|
However,
that Minecraft chin mixed with what I’ve seen gives me a strong feeling
that she isn’t very good with curved lines. Often times, curves are
jaggedy or lumpy or you can clearly see where she drew the same line two
or three times, giving them a weird look. I assume she draws on paper
and scans in and does little-to-no cleanup, which means her art is
actually pretty smooth considering, though cleanup would help
considerably. I admit that I admire freehand drawing more than I do
tablet-assisted drawing. I mean, when you see Mike Krahulik draw the
same line 10 times before being satisfied, and Randall Munroe of XKCD
draw a whole fucking comic with a sharpie in one go, the latter is far
more impressive.
For this linework, I would accept it with her main
comic, which has that same fun, unpolished, off-the-cuff feel that Kate
Beaton is known for, but the same does not go for her Tumblr, which I
would think would be a repository for the more polished art that has no
place in the comic.
 |
I seriously have no idea what is going on with that whip.
|
 |
They need shirts to cover their robonipples.
|
While
this may look detailed and professional, if you look at the linework on
the wires especially, it feels lazy and rushed. I like the bunching and
spreading effect of the wires – working IT, I’ve had to tie up enough
bundles of wires to appreciate that detail – but the space between where
lines should be touching is not acceptable.
But it is not all criticism.
 |
“OW! YOU PRICKED ME, YOU SHITCOCKING FUCK!” – probably Jeph Jacques |
I
mean, she can clearly draw. This is gorgeous, detailed, and done
without the aid of computer correction. On the other hand, if you really
look at it, there are not a lot of curves. A few on the bird or branch
here or there, but notice how the thorns disrupt the branch from curving
for too long, and how the flower petals are stylistically straight.
Hell, even the leaves are drawn like little saw blade teeth. I am highly
concerned for her ability to draw a curved line, and that does not bode
well for an art competition.
Also, I think she wants to be Kate Beaton.
 |
Abby
|
 |
wut r u doing
|
 |
Abby |
 |
Stahp |
…actually, that last one is a bit TOO on the nose.
Estimated Placing: 10
th place.
If
she really can’t draw curved lines, which I no-joke suspect, she is in
major trouble. I think she is odd and creative enough to pass through
the T-shirt designing contest where a less imaginative person will
flounder, but after that, I think the art burden will be more than she
can handle. We’ll see what happens.
 |
Alex “Calvin N.” Hobbes |
Comic: Wanderlust Kid (Wanderlustkid.com)
Art Style: Like a mix between Penny Arcade and Bigger Than Cheeses, toss in some CAD
Comic Format Style: 1x3-panel PA-style format, some 2x2-panel CAD-style format
Joke Style: Penny Arcade
Summary/Opinion:
So far, there isn’t a lot of work to see on Wanderlust Kid, having only
gone up on 2013-01-31 (with help from fellow contestant Monica Ray).
The archive contains a grand total of 8 comics as of today (2013-03-05),
and there doesn’t appear to be a link to a Tumblr or any other comic or
art site, so I can only judge on those, and even then, not too well.
I
can say his jokes are fairly good, but the main character feels a lot
like Penny Arcade’s Gabe, what with the jerkish personality and latent
homosexuality.
 |
The second panel screams “When I throw this ball down, I need a motherfucker to come out.” |
 |
Okay, not that latent.
|
The
above two comics are good for another comparison. The top one, the Fire
Emblem comic, is far more richly detailed. Just look at those hills,
man. I’d plow the shit out of those hills (I have a farming thing). The
sky is gorgeous and even the tavern walls are rich in detail. The
problem, however, is shading. The shading in the third panel threw me
completely off, the way the light and shadow falls on their bodies
making seemingly no sense. Alex’s hair should block any light from
falling on his face, and blue guy’s arm should be completely shaded. The
light source, to have even a semblance of the shadows cast, should be
between them, and even if it were, the shading would have to be redone
more realistically. This isn’t a HUGE gripe, but even as an
art-incapable reader (we prefer the term art-tarded), I can see the
glaring problem there.
In the Minecraft comic, the first panel is
slightly shaded, but is dropped for the rest of the comic. If it was one
or the other, I probably wouldn’t have noticed, but being part shaded
and part not made it stick out. I’m not convinced it is laziness,
however, either being deadline posting, or just plain forgetting. He
clearly states on his first news post
“…these comics will be coming at
you twice a week. Monday? Comic. Thursday? Comic. Monday again? That’s right, comic,
motherfuckers.” I get the feeling that he couldn’t make the promised
deadline and threw up a mostly-finished comic, hoping the mismatched
shading would go unnoticed.
His poses are reminiscent of Mike
Krahulik’s drawing, along with some mouths, but these eyes are clearly
his, and I find his hands pleasantly compact unlike Mike’s banana
fingers. I also can’t quite put my finger on it, but something in his
art reminds me of Bigger Than Cheeses. Other than that, I find his
comics could use more detail – perhaps not as much as the first up there
on every comic – it’s nice, but not necessary – but more than the
second for sure. Yeah, the bushes look nice, but what is with that cart,
bland house, and bar? All that aside, for a guy with only ~1 year under
his belt, I think he is doing exceptional work. I’ve seen webcomics run
for 10 years that still can’t touch this art.
Also, the tears are weird, but I love them. That is not how tears work, but who cares, right?
The
thing about Alex that I find surprising is that in the videos, he is
very positive, happy, and energetic, but it doesn’t get on my nerves…
yet, anyway. Usually people like that I find grating, but he pulls off
that personality type very well. I genuinely like his personality and
hope he goes far in the competition.
On the one hand, he has said, by
his own admission, that he is rather new to drawing, only having about a
year’s worth of experience, so he has a rather small skillset, which
itself means he has a good chance of being eliminated early. On the
other hand, he seemed to ‘come in second’ in the game of Fax Machine,
receiving a compliment and a few ‘yeps’ from people concerning his
performance (which could easily be due to editing).
Also, take a look at the interviews with Alex in the second episode.
 |
You can clearly see a scar on his forehead (his right side). It ain’t quite Harry Potter, but it’s gotta give him some sort of power, right? |
Estimated Placing: 7
th place
Though
I like him, I believe that, ultimately, his inexperience will be the
end of him. He may even strike out first with the T-shirt competition,
but I don’t think he is the least prepared. If he can make it past that,
however, he’ll probably make it through a few more rounds. He’ll
probably run into a competition where he just can’t finish in time and
has a half-done project because of it, eliminating him, magic scar
powers be damned. That is my guess.
 |
Amy “The Eagle (caw!)” Falcone |
Comics: Citation Needed (
http://fullpickle.com/citationneeded), Cardigan Weather (http://fullpickle.com/cardiganweather)
Comic Style: Wasted Talent
Joke
Style: Citation Needed: the worst of CAD, F@nb0y$, Bigger than Cheeses,
and a comic I read long ago that I hated so much I deleted it from my
webcomic cache and can’t remember the name
Cardigan Weather: I don’t quite know what to compare it to…
Summary/Opinion:
Well, let me try to start positive, because this is going to get really
negative really fast, but don’t worry! It gets positive again!
Start
with her first comic, Citation Needed, co-made by (perhaps written by?)
Chris O’Brien . The art I like a lot. It reminds me of Angela Melick’s
Wasted Talent. The characters are joyfully round-faced and simple, but
still easy to differentiate, mainly due to hair color, style, or
never-changing attire. There is a mix of longer form stories as well as
one-shot jokes, with an overarching storyline that makes itself apparent
later on. There’s comedy, but also an attempt at a serious storyline
where people feel genuinely hurt and abandoned by the other characters
around them.
That would probably be very touching if everything
wasn’t executed so poorly. First, I want to address why I listed the
joke style as “the worst of CAD, F@nb0y$, Bigger than Cheeses” etc. See,
I like those three comics, but they fluctuate in hilarity more than
other comics I know. Some comics are great, some are works of great
evil. Evil against comedy. And that’s what Citation Needed is, albeit
without the high points.
Take this “first time in movie titles” bit.
 |
You mean rape? That’s rape, I’m pretty sure. But no, I get it. There are only so many movie titles, and maybe “Predator” was a bit straightforward.
|
So the jokes often miss by a wide margin, but surely that is made up for by the great characters?
Not
really. The two main characters are twin brothers who are both idiots
in their own ways. It’s like if the Hitachiin twins from Ouran were
stupider, but just as incest-y. Or, for non-anime people, think of the
Weasley twins in literally any Harry Potter fanfiction you’ve ever read,
then lower their IQ 50 points. For more than a year, Micro thinks Macro
is his clone, not his twin.
 |
Hey, I found the one good joke!
|
It
gets even worse when we’re hit with cliché after cliché. The female
leads crush on the male leads, who are too stupid to see their way, WAY
too obvious advances. There is miscommunication leading to
misunderstandings caused by way-too-specific wording that would never
happen without careful writing. And the worst is the cheesecake. At one
point, one of the main female characters becomes a cam model, which by
itself would be fine because they have to make money somehow, but it’s
really just an excuse to have her walking around in a bra and panties
for no reason.
 |
Close your fucking robe! |
 |
That chocolate isn’t going to come out of the couch, idiot! Also, l2makeup, nub.
|
Okay, so the characters suck, but surely the story arcs make up for it, right?
Except
the arcs are idiotic. A mad Roomba on the loose goes on for 30 pages.
The arguably main character Micro dresses up in a shark costume for
three months. A Micro’s twin brother loses his legs when he jumps off
the roof, then gets fawned over by the female characters who all are
attracted to the pheromones that prosthetics give off, apparently.
Then
the comic tries to serious-it-up by retconning the legs being lost to
disease instead of stupidity, when it makes no sense for Macro to have
wandered out from the shower to collapse outside.
I… just… everything with this comic is wrong.
Which makes me think it is Chris O’Brien’s fault after I saw the first four pages of Cardigan Weather.
 |
Fuck yeah, that is the shit right there.
|
Cardigan
weather is simpler, cleaner, and has way more heart. It doesn’t try for
the funny, but that isn’t its goal. It is about self-doubt, sexuality,
and anxiety. It is better than the whole of Citation Needed combined,
and it’s barely a dozen comics.
 |
Somehow, this is less dirty than those comics from Citation Needed above… |
 |
…and this is funnier (I honestly thought the piss puddle was a shadow on the first 3 viewings). |
The
strange thing is that the writing of these two comics overlaps
slightly, meaning the wreck that is Citation Needed was being made at
the same time as this wonderful little collection. How does that come
about?
Estimated Placing: 3
rd place.
She has the
art style, she has the ability to create something beautiful, and she
has quite a bit of experience, judging by the length of her comic
archives. Perhaps long form just isn’t her style, writing her into a
CAD-esque miscarriage corner, but either way I don’t think that will be
something stressed in this short-term competition. Stuck with short term
projects, one-shot jokes, and art, she can go pretty far, but if she
had a greater hand in Citation Needed’s writing than I think she does,
she is definitely going down.
 |
Erika “The Quality Queer” Moen
|
Comic: DAR! A Super Girly Top Secret Comic Diary (
http://www.darcomic.com)
Art Site: http://www.erikamoen.com/art/
Art Style: Erika Moen. Is that cheating? Fine, Girls with Slingshots. ARE YOU HAPPY?
Comic Format Style: 3x2 with occasional deviation
Joke Style: Devil’s Panties, generally cute, sexual, or dirty
Summary/Opinion:
I
am very, VERY surprised to see Erika up here with these other guys. She
has been working professionally for a while already so we already know
she is skilled. On top of that, DAR! has been saved in my webcomics list
for YEARS.
I don’t want to put any of the others down when I say
that, but she is already being paid for her art, while many of the other
competitors are, for lack of a better term, ‘amateurs.’ Having her on
the show reminds me of that episode of the Celebrity Newlywed Game that
had George Takei and his husband Brad. Sure, they were technically just
married, but they were also together for 15 years before that due to
bullshit gay marriage restrictions in the US. It felt like a sure win
from the start (which makes it more surprising that they barely scraped a
win).
 |
Haha, yeah, fuck you, offended person! |
I
really dislike that I can only compare her art and humor style to other
female webcomic artists, and I know SOMEONE is going to complain about
it, but honestly, I just don’t know any male artists who draw like this.
Simple lines, great shading, a focus on facial expressions, actual
different body types. The closest I can think of is Kris Straub’s
Starslip Crisis, and that doesn’t even fit all the criteria.
Female
artists typically make female main characters act how women (that I
know, at least) actually act. Bigger Than Cheeses, CAD, PvP, the women
are more the cross-armed nag. They don’t fart, they don’t like sex, they
usually curse far less than their male counterparts. Oglaf and
Questionable Content seem more accurate than these depictions.
So yeah, ‘girls fart’ was the whole point of those prior paragraphs.
 |
She somehow survived into adulthood. |
She
had to put up with some shit from idiot “fans” (who she chronicles in
later entries) who say her “going straight” ruined the comic for them,
despite the fact, that she never claimed to be “cured of teh gey” in any
way. Self-titled “queer,” she makes it clear that her own sexuality,
like that of many people, is not something clearly defined. She seems
comfortable where she is now, which is better than can be said for most
people.
So her pros are her years of experience and completed
webcomic under her belt. The biggest thing working against her, however,
would have to be her limited scope of art. Now, take this with a huge
grain of salt because I have no idea what sort of work she does over at
Periscope, but her blog and comic consist mainly of two things: people
and plants. Fucking and flora. Tits and trees. Bushes and… well, bushes,
I guess.
 |
As evidenced by this vagina. |
You can say
the drawings aren’t sexualized, but this is America, where a nipple is
automatically considered too sexy and risqué for children. And don’t
even get me started on anything between the legs, front or back. She
probably has a wider scope than her website’s focus suggests, but if
this is what she is going to have moving forward, it wouldn’t fall
within PA’s purview.
Estimated Placing: 5
th place.
She’s
got skill, talent, and experience, but I don’t think she is what PA is
looking for. I think she’ll get through the initial talent parts of the
competition, but after the less talented are weeded out, Jerry and Mike
are going to start gutting those that don’t match the PA dynamic, and I
think Erika is one of those people.
 |
Katie "Crazy-Eyes" Rice |
Comic: N/A
Art Sites:
http://funnycute.blogspot.com/,
http://thepostitproject.blogspot.com/,
http://katiejrice.tumblr.com/, Also
http://skadiblog.blogspot.com/, but it is not updated, old, and will not be discussed
Art
Style: Adventure Time, but I swear I spot the occasional Bugs Bunny,
Power Puff Girls, or Ren & Stimpy inspiration tossed in for good
measure
 |
I promise I came to that conclusion BEFORE I saw this.
|
Comic Style: N/A
Joke Style: N/A
Summary/Opinion:
Katie is the one of the people on this list without a comic proper. She
has three more recent art blogs, however, two of which are still being
updated, so I gave those three a gander. It should be noted that Katie
is not only published, but works on storyboards for an actual cartoon,
and is therefore an actual paid, experienced artist.
 |
Just fucking rub it in, Katie.
|
Her
art has a distinctly American-cartoon feel to it, resembling a lot of
stuff we probably all remember as kids (anyone who is still a kid: get a
job, leecher). Adventure time is probably the art style you can most
closely associate with her cartoonish work, but she can make her own
characters and creatures without having to rip anything off. Definitely a
big plus. Or at least not a negative. I don’t have a fucking rubric.
My
major qualm with her drawings is her odd choice in coloration. Most of
them are good, but every once in a while, something will be colored in a
way that makes me do a double take, though I often can put my finger on
exactly why.
 |
Maybe the colors are just too muted, but something makes me dislike them. I AM A TERRIBLE ART CRITIC.
|
Further, when she strays from her cartoony style… well, bad things happen.
 |
WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR FACE? |
Katie’s
got skill, talent, and experience up the wazoo (in a non-sexual way
(unless that’s your thing)) and can clearly draw very well so long as
she sticks to her style and doesn’t stray away. I think she has more
than enough creativity to make it through the majority of these
challenges.
 |
All it takes to be creative is one chicken knight.
|
Estimated Placing: 4
th place
Katie
is skilled and will make it through the lower pressure competitions
with no issue, but she may be lacking in confidence. Her video
introduction is pretty wishy washy and short. I think she’ll get far,
but she’ll get pushed really hard at one point, perhaps during
caricature drawing or something, and totally blow it. That is my
prediction for her.
 |
She looks like a Greek spy from The Pink Panther
|
 |
Lexxy “Leximus Prime” Douglass
|
Comic: The Cloud Factory (not started yet, but http://cloudfactorycomics.com/)
Art Style: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
Comic Style: N/A
Joke Style: N/A
Summary/Opinion: Lexxy is good. I mean, like, really, really good.
 |
I might be biased because I played that exact class with that exact gender with that exact dye color. |
You
may remember Sexy Lexxy – does anyone call her that? Is that her
nickname? Is it just me? Am I a pig? Anyway, you may remember Lexxy from
the PA Hires 2-parter on PATV where she competed against Erika for the
artist position, inevitably losing. She is so good that it makes me
wonder how crazy Erika Sadsad must be that she ended up getting hired
over Lexxy. Erika’s drawings must have glowed with heavenly light, come
to life, and given Jerry a handy, which is such a vile image that I had
to pass it on to you before it consumed me completely.
 |
She looks like she has a good grip, but those wrappings must chafe.
|
It’s really hard to find anything to dislike. I mean, look at the following picture:
 |
Sorry, but without an Asian girl, I’m afraid you don’t qualify for either the Power Rangers OR the Planeteers.
|
The
shading is incredible, the musculature is accurate and sexy, and I
believe all of the poses and faces and hair movement. Lexxy knows her
shit, folks. Or she would know her shit, if her shit was shit, but it is
not shit. This shit is
the shit, which is different.
I
think perhaps, if I had to find a negative quality, she lacks more
cartoony drawings. Everyone has 5 fingers, have realistic faces and
bodies, and are generally less Penny Arcade than Penny Arcade is
probably comfortable with, with the exception of the above Ping Pong
Pic. Or maybe that’s exactly what PA wants, but somehow I don’t think
going more towards reality is PA’s goal. It’s a tough sell.
 |
I like art with some untold story behind it.
|
Estimated Placing: 1
st place.
There’s
no doubt Lexxy knows what she’s doing, but is she what Penny Arcade is
looking for? Well… yeah, she is. Stupid fucking question. She wouldn’t
have gotten so far in the hiring process in the Hiring episodes of PATV
if that wasn’t the case. But is she THE BEST? That is one tough call to
make. I think she can clean up the competition when it comes to art, but
can she clinch the PA atmosphere and dynamic they need? I am putting my
money on her, but it’s a close bet with these top three artists.
 |
I dunno, some assholes. They look goofy. |
 |
Mackenzie “Big Mack” Schubert
|
Comics: Space Monsters (
http://www.plaincomics.com/spacemonsters.html) Louisiana Purchased (
http://www.plaincomics.com/louisianapurchased.html)
Art Site:
http://mackenzieschubert.blogspot.comFormat Style: Longform vertical panel. “American Comic Book Style,” if you will.
Art Style: Dresden Codak
Joke Style: N/A
Summary/Opinion:
Think
Dresden Codak if he emulated Lovecraft, or Philip K. Dick if he became a
macabre artist. This is the quickest way to summarize not only Mack’s
storytelling, but also his art.
 |
Oh, shit! You okay, bro?
|
Mackenzie’s
got some great (if imprecise) detail going on in these images. It’s an
excellent mix of detailed and not detailed, where there are lots of
little things all about, but they aren’t fleshed out graphically, making
the scene busy, but not overwhelming.
 |
Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn! Sorry, had something in my- OH SHIT GIANT SQUID
|
As
you can see, there is a lot in each scene, but the details are kept
minimalistic. I appreciate that I can skirt the image and not feeling
like I am robbing myself, but also don’t feel like the artist is phoning
it in. That is not a balance easily struck.
I feel at this point I must remind you that I am a talentless hack critic with no art experience.
 |
I’m disappointed in me too, Hellboy.
|
However, I see some obvious flaws with Mack.
You see, art like this
sucks
when it is half finished. It just looks like shit. These drawings look
like they’ll take longer than Schubert is going to be given in the
competitions, and an even slightly-short-of-complete image is going to
look awful. Now, this is my opinion (see art hack, above), and I think
his art is great in its completed state, but I just know he is going to
hit a point where he can’t get a project done in time.
In addition,
looking at his site and listening to his intro, I get the feeling he has
an issue sticking with things. He’s been doing work “on and off,” and, I
may be mistaken, but it looks like updates on the site are already
late, despite the comics only recently starting. Combined with the
theories above, this does not bode well for Mack.
Estimated Placing: 8
th place
I
think Mack’s wonderful but time consuming art is going to wreck him
early on. I shiver at the thought of where his story and art is going to
take him, but I’m afraid I probably won’t see it on PATV. I’ll check
back in on the site in a few months, and hopefully be able to throw some
money his way.
 |
Maki “Slashfic Fodder” Naro
|
Comic: Sci-ǝnce http://sci-ence.org/
Comic
Style: Usually structured panels of varying lengths. Structure and
panel number change depending on complexity of topic/joke.
Art Style: Sometimes Three Panel Soul, sometimes A Lesson is Learned but the Damage is Irreversible
Joke Style: Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal
Summary/Opinion:
Science gives me brain boners. Skepticism will get me in your bed
faster than flashing flesh. I like me a big, sexy, skeptical brain more
than I like big, sexy, skeptical boobs, partially because that means
they would be sentient, and that terrifies my nethers.
Well, this has started off rather awkwardly for all of us…
 |
It’s not gay if it’s NDT.
|
Having
never read Sci-ǝnce before, the comic will henceforth nestle between
SMBC and XKCD on my daily comic read, which is after all the other
webcomics but before all the atheism and skepticism blogs (which are
themselves before my shamefully numerous meme blogs).
The information
in these comics is vital stuff, people. Already being a gigantic nerd, I
didn’t learn anything new until the news post after the TH comic
(Thorium (I memorized The Elements by Tom Lehrer and every element’s
symbol when I was 14 (NERD))). It was about HADD, our natural attempt to
put a human agency behind sounds and sights that are not human, but
rarely mistaking a human for something else (in layman terms). I knew it
existed, but didn’t know the name. Also, the occasional number popped
up that I haven’t fully integrated into my brain meats yet, like the
number of atoms in the universe or the exact plank value of
anything. Maybe someday 10^-44 will instinctively mean something to me.
I
am instantly attracted to the comic for its (correct) stances on
astrology, homeopathy, psychics, and other easily dismissed
pseudoscientific bullshit. It also has an excellent explanatory post
under each comic going further in depth to the comic subject. Nadir’s
writing reminds me of Jerry Holkins a bit, being more florid and winding
than the standard writer. Maki is no slouch either, but it doesn’t have
the same punch.
 |
Oh, THAT’S where this comic comes from…
|
I
liken the humor to SMBC due to the usually long, verbose comics,
smattered with some light humor and ending with a single joke. Sometimes
they are long metaphors or explanations many panels long, but the
concluding “laugh here” indicator is one panel that is typically less
wordy and science-y for greater audience appeal.
So I clearly
like the comic and posts (Drawing NDT? Quoting Harris? Advertising
Minchin? CELEBRATING DARWIN DAY? Be still, my heart!), but what can I
say about it more generally? The art changes from comic to comic with
some frequency, some being done by Maki, some by Nadir. Maki’s signature
style seems to be a black-and-white style reminiscent of Three Panel
Soul, though I could just be playing favorites with that style. Some of
the more sprawling ones feel like a lesser version of A Lesson is
Learned, but really, what ISN’T a lesser version of that? I can’t really
tell when Nadir or Maki is drawing because I am a talentless hack when
it comes to art.
 |
“ARE YOU THE MONA LISA? WHY AREN’T YOU IN A MUSEUM?!” – talentless hack
|
It’s
hard to get a good read on what his average art competency level is,
but he can clearly do both simple lines and more detailed, fleshed out
stuff, though even his high end stuff doesn’t seem on level with the
high-end stuff of the other artists. I don’t think he has the best art
of everyone in the series, but is capable of multiple styles with high
competency. Is the subject matter going to be attractive to the guys at
PA? Jerry could handle the high-brow physics jokes, but I think Mike
will be left scratching his head.
Estimated Placing: 2
nd Place
I think Maki is going to make it all the way up there, but can he win? That’s tough to say considering who I think is 1
st.
He has many art styles, but without mastering one, he may have trouble
standing above the leader of the pack. I have a lot of trouble not being
biased towards the giver of brain boners. Ah, fuck, I just made it
awkward again.
NOTE: I did not read the complete archives due to the sheer length and complexity of many of the comics and posts.
 |
Monica “Squishy” Ray
|
Comic: Phuzzy Comics (
http://phuzzycomics.monicaray.com/)
Art Site: (http://phuzzypanda.tumblr.com/)
Art Style: Manga meets Kate Beaton, which is the long way of saying Scott Pilgrim
Comic Format: Free format panels
Joke Style: Silly/cute, like an Awkward Zombie manga
Summary/Opinion:
 |
Yes. Yes I do.
|
I
miss Asians. That’s not some weird non sequitor. The demographics where
I live now are VASTLY different from where I grew up. More blonde hair
and motorcycles, fewer almond eyes and manga. I should point out that I
am Captain Cracka-lacka over here, but 6/7 of the people I would call
close friends hail from Korea, China, and the Philippines, one lone
honky holding back the tide.
 |
She seems nice. |
Monica
is clearly influenced by anime, manga, and video games, as evidenced by
their frequent inclusion in the strip and artwork. Wide spectrum nerds
will recognize the D&D reference, Lord of the Rings, Madoka,
Pokemon, and Bowling, the Chess Club of sports.
 |
Monica is like me: gleefully driving our friends into murderous rages. |
The
comic is slice of life, which are only so limited in their ability to
tell a joke. At best, you get Lucky Star-like moments where you kind of
smirk, laugh under your breath, and think to yourself “yeah, my friends
are like that too. The occasional oddity makes it through for the sake
of a joke, but it otherwise slightly exaggerated autobiographical
information.
 |
A 3-panel 4-koma. Notice the Tsukasa-like (Lucky Star) pose and prominent yellow lines in the last panel. These are called “animes lines” [citation needed] |
So I find the art and
the author ridiculously cute (don’t be pleased with that compliment,
Monica, because I am fugly). The comedy, though? Slice of life rarely
does it for laugh-out-loud moments. It’s hard to gauge the creative
juices of the artist with the comic, so I hit the art blog.
 |
Moar animu!
|
It
is really hard to say anything about her without using a picture aid.
She draws in a style heavily influenced by manga and anime, but it’s not
Megatokyo, which I mean in a good way. She puts her own touches on
everything from bodies to mouths to movements. She’s not just tracing
K-on! and calling it art. It actually feels a bit unfair to keep
pointing out the similarities to manga due to all of the clearly
“Monica” bits in each panel.
 |
That’s nothing. I was raped by a Furby.
|
Estimated Placing: 6
th place.
It’s
tough saying it because I like her art style so much, but I don’t think
she has any one thing that stands out in particular, aside from her
shirts (wouldn’t be surprised if she nails first in the shirt design
contest). Her art is good, her style is good, her writing is fine, but
nothing jumps out and goes “shit be fine as fuck!” The focus is
scattered, and even the art on the Tumblr, though fine, isn’t
eye-popping. I think she has skill in design, but I don’t think she can
whip up a big project in an hour’s time. Out of all the contestants, I
would be surprised the least by her doing better than expected.
 |
Maybe just a smidge of Octopus Pie.
|
 |
Nick "The Troubadour" Trujillo
|
Comic: Mynt Condition (
http://www.myntcondition.com/)
Art Site: http://myntcondition.tumblr.com/
Comic Style: …Miyazaki?
Joke Style: N/A
Summary/Opinion:
To put it simply, I don’t know what to compare his art to. The best – the absolute best – I can do, is say Miyazaki.
 |
Maybe we should just be friends, Nick.
|
I’m
not saying Nick has his own unique style – I think there have been
enough artists to use up all the possible unique styles already – but
I’m saying I’m not familiar with whatever influences shaped his work
besides Miyazaki.
Nick doesn’t have a huge amount of art up right
now. His Brother comic is 4 pages long. His Tumblr is 53 pages long, his
art only appears with any frequency in the most recent 5 pages, the
rest being links to other people’s art or videos, essentially being your
run-of-the-mill Tumblr until he decided to host his art there.
 |
A native wood-carved mask depiction of Amy “The Eagle (caw!)” Falcone
|
Without
much art to judge by, I look to his video, how he acts in the first two
episodes, and his blog posts on his site. They give me a very negative
feeling about his chances in the competition. His faux determination is
paper-thin and he seems more nervous than the others, causing him to
sound crushed and defeated before the competition even begins. His blog
posts are equally self-punishing in their own way, all about being
determined to do his art and letting his art define him, etc. It gives
me the feeling that he is knocked out early.
 |
You lost, is what |
Estimated Placing: 11
th Place
Going
only by the words I can read and activities I can see, I don’t think he
has much of a chance, his art being completely aside from that fact.
The only reason I don’t place him last is… well, you can read these
entries yourself.
 |
Tavis “Canadia Majora” Maiden |
Comic: Stranger Danger (http://strangerdangercomic.blogspot.com/)
Art Site:
http://tavismaiden.blogspot.ca/Art Style: A cartoon on Fox that you’d like before they canceled it midway through the first season, maybe some Ryan Estrada
Comic
Format Style: Usually three horizontal panels, equally sized for easier
book creation. Some comics go two or one panel for larger scenes.
Joke Style: Kids Say the Darndest Things
Summary/Opinion:
Let’s
start strong: Tavis has dad confidence, that way of talking and acting
that comes from having a young kid who thinks you can do anything and
that will believe anything you say. His video shows as much. In fact,
Tavis is very dad-y. This can be both positive and negative. It is the
latter in this case.
 |
It’s funny because he is poorly educated.
|
See,
it’s another slice of life comic, but it’s more niche than most of the
others. Jokes your kids tell are like pictures of your kids. Their cute
to you, but everyone else wants to partake once, then kill themselves
every time thereafter.
 |
Because you kept talking so they shoved shotguns up their own asses and pulled the trigger... I’d be a great dad.
|
Don’t
think I totally hate it. The art is good, simple, works with the
format. Shading and coloring is good, faces are nice and cartoony. I
just really can’t stand the humor.
 |
It’s funny because he is still poorly educated.
|
Art
can keep him in the running in the short run, but when he actually
needs to make someone laugh, he is going to have a bad time.
Estimated Placing: 9
th Place
To
be fair, Mike and Jerry are both dads, so he might get some knowing
chuckles out of them, it might even get him through the first few
rounds. But when shit starts to get real, baby boy isn’t going to be
able to pull mommy and daddy through.
 |
It’s funny because… wait, no it’s not.
|
 |
Ty "The Guy" Halley |
Comic: The Secret Life of a Journal Comic (
http://www.journalcomic.com/)
Art Style: Rooster Teeth Comics in black and white
Comic
Style: Standard size format, 6.25”x2.5”, not counting whitespace around
the edges, usually 3 panels, sometimes small variations.
Joke Style: A newspaper comic with bad words
Summary\Opinion:
 |
WELP one comic in and I’ve already seen your dick. I think that’s a marriage proposal in Mongolia.
|
Ty
takes being a hipster very seriously. He’s got the glasses, the hair,
the clothes, he owns records, he’s got piercings, he’s into the right
artists. Is bisexuality part of hipsterism? I don’t know, but he’s got
that!
 |
I’m not gay, but (insert something gay here) |
This
comic just doesn’t do much for me. It’s slice of life, which as I‘ve
said in every other entry here that does slice of life, is typically not
very funny, though it tries to be. If 20 out of Ty’s 250+ comics made
me laugh, I’d call it a roaring success, but it doesn’t come close to
that number.
It reads like Family Circus if the son grew up to be
weird and depressed, and if the parents became complete dicks. The jokes
and observations are often trite, reaching to appear as a nugget of
wisdom, and falling vapidly short.
 |
We all do it, so you shouldn’t worry your stupid face about it. |
One
of the problems is I also greatly dislike the character, which I don’t
like saying because it is clearly supposed to be Ty himself; that’s kind
of the point of a journal comic. But the character makes poor decisions
and is depressingly pathetic.
 |
Well, that’s gotta be the strangest thing I’ve read in any of these comics. |
The
arts nothing to sing the praises of, either. There is always this kind
of spotlight around Ty, like some sort of off-Broadway production. I
don’t really know what that’s about. Maybe it’s trying to be like “Hey,
look here. Look at this guy here. Do you see him?
Don’t be this guy.”
Estimated Placing: 12
th place
Unfunny
humor, uninspired art, strange choices in style. I just can’t find
anything to like about this comic. If his art site had something
breathtaking on it, I might be inspired to change my tune, but it’s 3
pages of pretty much the same thing. I don’t see Ty lasting through this
contest.
 |
What a unique and inspiring tattoo! |
Thanks
for reading even a small part of this, if you did. I can finally sleep.
Please leave comments so my many, many hours of work did not go
completed wasted, kthx.